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Another Bear Story

Yes, the bear we’d heard rumors of was nearby that day, the day we made a list of
ways to Deal With A Bear:
A loud horn
A stick
Or an umbrella
An umbrella that shot mace out of its tip
Or an umbrella with a scary dinosaur carved at its tip
Or an enormous hologram of a scary dinosaur
Or an alien
A slimy alien

But none of that was necessary. The bear, hidden only by the scrim of bushes at the edge of the road, that bear ate the vicious pit bull who was about to attack. Pleased protector, superhero bear shrugged off his armor and shuffled off, back to the deep woods far from here, where he ate only blueberries, just like the bear in the storybook.

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